Louie Leyson, "all my friends in a room listening to say it right by nelly furtado"

after Cameron Awkward-Rich

all my friends in a room listening to say it right
by nelly furtado & i think i have never been loved
like this. we already know this space is so holy

though heaven is a pipe dream for gay bitches
like us. so bless the dim salt lamp & the winding
ivy vine & the glossy tits u rip from mags to tape

on all the walls. bless ur evil sphinx cat & everything
he’s broken, though sometimes i know he devastates
just to be forgiven. bless the t&t condensed milk

u stir into my coffee, the torn packets of splenda
i stir slow into urs. the mcdonald’s u get even while
i’m asleep cos u always predict when i’ll blink awake

hungry. whenever u pay attention u save my life
again. kindness glowing amber like a halo
or a warning. new enough to startle me

even after all this time. i must have missed
this place long before i’d ever seen it, think i miss it
now long before i know i’ll leave. still i end up wishing

that we’d loved each other longer, like if we skinned
our knees as kids on the same crooked sidewalk
or if our mothers were born knowing how to speak

each other’s language. i’m trying to school myself
into wanting less but u have never let me, sketching
out a golden room i don’t even dare to dream of.

letting me sleep selfish inside that golden room
for months, even when all i have left
are my hands. but u take them & clean them

of urgency, amber soap each time.




From The Malahat Review's summer issue #219